Holiday’s are made for relaxation and reflection

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This photo sums up how I spent my holiday week.  I worked my normal schedule, even working Christmas Eve and day, happily so.  My job is very rewarding and it made me happy to be there.  With an empty house, no school or dance to drive to, the extra time in my day allowed for me to have much more leisure time than I am used to.  I watched movies, read a little, created some new recipes, did a lot of cooking, and some walking as well.  All the while realizing how many things I have to be grateful for.  My beautiful home and community in which I live, healthy children, life itself.  I had been worried that the holidays would hit and I would have a breakdown, being that this is the first holiday season that I have ever spent alone in all my years.  The largest revelation that came to me during this time of reflection is that in my solitude I am not lonely, I felt more lonely in my marriage.  That loneliness perpetuated my solitary cocktails that were necessary to bring a haze that allowed me to muddle through my sadness, and lack of self-love.

I completed my Whole 30 on Christmas day, and the desire for a celebratory cocktail was not there as it had been after the completion of my first time on this program.  Though I stayed busy, and enjoyed the peace and quiet, by Sunday I was beginning to feel a bit lonely.  I called a friend and we got together for a glass of wine, and this is fine I think for me, the battle begins when we finish the bottle and I want more.  This is my struggle.

Julia finally returned home today and we had a wonderful time.  Lunch, conversation, a little fashion show, and even some snuggle time.  We both recapped our week for one another,  and she shared that she is not concerned with me having wine with a friend, proceeding to let me know all that does cause her worry.  Our continued open, honest conversations only strengthen our bond.  As the Holiday season comes to a close, I welcome the new year with optimism, and love, looking forward for our picnics to resume, truly spending our Sunday in the park! Here is my beauty, en pointe…

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Our traditions evolve

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Year after year as a family moves through life, new homes, kids growing, I have found that traditions can change as time passes.  Sometimes our traditions have changed based on circumstance, events or what ties us down, bringing a new spin on how we spend our holidays.  We have never been a traditional family per say, a very blended family, with all involved in many years of celebration.  We also made the determination that spending time as a family on a vacation, or little getaway was worth more than purchasing gifts that were forgotten by springtime, or sooner.  Some of our winter vacations are my most fond memories of what was our family.

I love to cook, I enjoy eating with family and friends, though there were many holidays I was in the kitchen and never even had a chance to enjoy the food I had prepared, or the company that we had in our home.  For a few years we owned a restaurant, and together my husband and I would cook six nights a week, so on a holiday we chose to be taken care of.  This year is the first I will be alone in all of my life, no one to take care of, no one home.  I am choosing to work and leave my evenings unplanned.  The idea of spending my Sundays with my beautiful daughter spending the day together, exploring and enjoying lunch becomes even more important.  Once again tradition shifts, to do something special does not require a holiday, just our love and ability to nurture our relationship in our own way.