A weekend of laying in bed, this time not voluntarily but because I have been under the weather. I suppose it worked out for the best since Julia had unexpected dance rehearsal and was participating in an experiment that was dance based. I have literally stayed in bed completely, other than to cook and drive Julia where she needed to be. Through all of the Sunday’s this year we have been challenged on actually getting outdoors for a picnic, being that we are fair weathered outdoors women, we have kept the commitment of having our meals together. Meals free of technology, so we are able to keep a conversation.
This week my son was home for dinner, this was interesting. Opening my eyes to where I have unfortunately failed as a parent somewhere along the line, because he and Julia seem as though they cannot get along. He and I mostly get along, though putting us all together, it is rarely smooth. This was a huge detriment to my marriage, to this day I lay fault solely upon myself for not teaching more patience through the action of leading by example. Patience is one of many areas I lack. I have made great strides in this area, but I need to continue making patience and positive reactions on the top of my list of priorities. When I master patience I believe I will find the inner peace I seek. Finding inner peace will allow me to be free from my desire to get lost and be all that I hope to be.
The amount of time I feel more peaceful are beginning to outweigh the time I feel stressed. Day by day I will reach my goal.