It is challenging to run a household while having a partner, now all on my own it has gone from challenging to just beyond. Some days I simply want to disappear, and wish that there were not so many tasks on my to do list. The new year has been off to a start that I truly cannot complain in most respects, I simply wish I had a helping hand, or someone to tell me it will be ok. Since all of the holiday separation, I have been feeling as though Julia and I have not been connecting in the way I would like, our communication not as friendly, I am sensitive and she is very direct. I wonder if all my mothering guilt allows for my children to be in charge. That coupled with feeling overwhelmed by keeping it all together makes for a frustration that needs to be redirected, because after all this is what would usually send me to belly up at the bar.
Our Sunday last week was one that we were together, with a lazy morning, we both do enjoy a cozy room and a movie. I just knew that I needed to get out and move, breathe fresh air, and my frustrations needed to be directed into positive energy… so to the garden I went. Physically challenging and mentally calming, it was the best place to be. Unfortunately Julia does not like the garden, though neither did I as a child, maybe she to will change her ways as I have when she becomes an adult. Much was accomplished, very tired and sore muscles, and a peaceful evening ensued, as we had a wonderful Sunday supper together. It was no day in the park, but ended on a wonderful note. Leaving more than one task marked off the list of all to keep this home afloat.